Update

So, it's been 11 months since I've updated this, and what an 11 months it has been. I'm no longer working, even though I technically still have a job (one I doubt that I'll ever have the opportunity to go back to). What happened? Well, what I was originally told was a back strain ended up being a ruptured disc. That ruptured disc has literally been my version of hell on Earth this year. I have spent NUMEROUS days in physical therapy, taken I don't know how many different medications, had 2 epidural steroid injections (these are awful! I'd never recommend them to anyone), and I had back surgery on June 1st. Well, surgery was a waste. My back is only worse, and I now have 3 ruptured discs and degenerative spine disease, and my sciatic nerve is pinched because of this. Basically, I'm in constant pain in my back and now down both my legs, into my toes (it was originally only in my right leg, but now it's in both (lucky, lucky me!)). I don't sleep well. I have to shift my position every few minutes when I'm sitting, laying down...basically doing anything, and driving for more than a few minutes at a time causes MAJOR pain. Because of this, I can't work. I spent 4 LONG years at Berea College to now just sit at home and do nothing that I worked my butt off for. Yes, this makes me sad...very sad actually. Where does this leave me? I really don't know...and that scares the hell out of me. Everyone who knows me, knows that I like to be in control of things. With this injury, I'm not in control of anything, or at least that is the way it feels.

So, what have I been doing the rest of the year, between my MANY doctors visits, that is: Well I've been watching my nieces and nephews grow like crazy. I swear they grow taller and smarter by the second. I love them very much, and I would do anything for them. What else have I been doing? Reading and watching a lot of TV. There isn't much else that I'm allowed to do right now. Yes, I am going a little (or a lot) crazy because of this. Lately, I've been dreaming of a job where I just travel the globe. I really don't care what that job would entail, as long as it got me away from my house and FAR, FAR away from my doctors and needles!

Since I don't know what my future holds, the only thing I can do is pray for something better. I may not go to church regularly, but I do believe in God and His love. Through Him all things are possible. I've been through enough in my life to realize this. And, no matter what faith/religion you believe in, I read a book that I think everyone should read. Even though the book was about someone else's journey, it really helped me: Eat, Pray, Love. It is a slow/hard read, but well worth it.















Now, I'm waiting for the next chapter in my life to begin. I'm not sure what that chapter holds, but I hope/pray that it is something far better than what I'm going through now. I just wanted to update all of you, since it has been so long since I've felt like writing. I'm hoping to update this blog more often now, but, like in life, I make no promises.

So, I leave all of you with this: Don't give up. There is nothing in life too big for you to overcome, even if it feels like a lost cause right now. And, in the words of Garth Brooks, "Some of life's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers".

I hope everyone is having a great holiday season thus far.

With all my love,
~Hope~